Tick Tock

8BALL & MJG - "YOU DON'T WANT DRAMA"

Buss a nigga head, smack a ho, shoot da club up.. Buss a nigga head, smack a ho, shoot da club up.. BITCH.. Nigga.. BITCH.. Nigga.. BITCH.. Nigga.. BITCH.. You-don't-want-drama! You don't want none! You-don't-want-drama! You don't want none!

I wasn't even going to add a song to this post.. Then I turned on my CD player.. And heard this shit.. (Perfecto!).. I'm blown.. I wanna slap a nigga or beat a bitch.. Ma Dukes called me at 6:45 am to move my car (which is cool because I knew I was blocking her in).. But she always has something EXTRA to say..

MA DUKES: I wouldn't have to call you & wake you up if you moved the cars around


ME: I know Ma


MA DUKES: What were you doing last night, waiting for ---- to call so you can pick him up?


ME: No Ma I didn't stay up waiting for him *mumbled under my breath* What THEE fuck does that have to do with anything?

I hate when people assume shit about me and what I'm about to do.. I'm not obligated to tell you reasons why I did or didn't do something.. I didn't move the car because I had EJ with me.. So I would have had to:

1. Get out of my car
2. Pull her car out of the parking space
3. Park my car into the space
4. Block my car in with Ma Dukes car

You know what that sounds like to me? A fucking headache & a hassle.. I'm supposed to do this with EJ in the car? Uh nah playa.. That wasn't gonna happen..

1. That's irresponsible
2. EJ hates sitting still for an extended period of time (i.e. longer than 5 minutes)

Granted I can drive my ass off and it would have been done pronto.. But that's besides the point.. Take EJ in the house you say? Uh nah playa.. Me think not.. I like to keep shit simple.. Carrying his heavy assplus diaper bag, purse, food and soda in the house just to come back & play musical cars is ridiculous.. Lazy you say? You would be lazy too if you drove a total of 3 hours a day (roundtrip) to work, listened to people complain for 8 hours then come home to deal with baby and hubby.. No I'm not complaining.. This is a reality.. This is the life I chose to live.. However I don't need to come home to hear smart comments from Ma Dukes and/or the peanut gallery..

I digress..

I finally go back to sleep then 30 minutes later *ring* Its Mister Man..

HIM: I just woke up baby.. --- --- --- --- --- --- --- work uniform --- --- --- --- --- (I'm half asleep so I missed a few things)

ME: Ok babe, I'll bring your toothbrush, you need anything else?


HIM: Oh your not picking me up?


ME: *looks at clock* (It's 7:15) Sure I'll come get you.. I'm sorry, I'm half asleep

I rolled over.. Didn't get up for about 15 minutes.. I was dog tired and had a lot of stuff to do this morning: get gas, get formula and attempt to make EJ's hair look halfway decent.. Yeah its cute because he's a baby.. If he was 3 or 4 ya'll would clown me..

Fredrick Douglass Jr Jr live and in color---------->>>>>

*Moving on*

I finally leave to pick up Mister Man and realize I don't know where the hell he's at.. He called me from his friend's phone (he lost his iPhone).. No answer when I call (of course).. So I go to rendevouz #1.. I waited for 10 minutes before I pulled off.. Race to rendevouz #2, nobody's there.. What THEE fuck? Lemme try this again.. *cue Speed Racer theme music* Race back to spot#1.. I have to get out of the car.. With EJ.. And my multi-colored pajama pants.. Pink/black plaid rain boots.. A paisley scarf.. Trust me I never planned on getting out of the car--hoping he would look out of the window.. Time check: 8:15 am.. Beyond ready to go at this point.. My frown is turned upside down once he hands me Melanie Fiona & Sade's CDs.. Yup! I'm won over.. Don't judge me.. Fast forward an hour.. I'm rushing to get my shit together.. EJ's hair isn't done.. Ugh.. Had too many stops to make to tame that mane.. Plus EJ's a fighter & a biter.. That bamma will scream, squirm, fight and "go ham".. Most definitely didn't have time for that.. Went to get gas and my damn card wouldn't work.. Nah buddy, I had more than enough to cover $40 worth of gas.. Tick tock tick tock.. Found my other card, filled up the tank then bounced.. Next stop: Safeway.. Grabbed the formula, some snacks and a Newsweek (yessur massah I's can read) and got stuck in line.. Tick tock tick tock.. It's now 10:05.. Gotta get to work within 55 minutes.. Called the babysitter to tell her I was a couple--not B.P.T. "a couple"--literally TWO minutes.. Get to her house and still had to wait.. Tick fucking tock.. Finally got EJ out of the cold and pulled off.. 10:15.. I know I won't make it on time but I'm praying.. And speeding.. From Largo to Vienna in 45 minutes? Imma have to ball out.. I finally get to DC and there's traffic.. A slow ass snow plow & backhoe are driving down Minnesota Avenue.. WHHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!?! Tick fucking tock.. Finally make it to work--15 minutes late.. Thank lil baby Jesus my supervisor wasn't there.. But fuck you Lucifer because her supervisor was there.. But I did what professionals do: got to work..

The Clock 1, Me 0